When we talk about self-care in mental health, we often picture the things we do for ourselves: taking a bath, going for a walk, setting boundaries, getting enough sleep, or making time for something we enjoy.
And all of those things matter.
But sometimes, self-care can also come from finding something outside of yourself that gives you a reason to pause, connect, care, and feel needed. For me, that looks like fostering kittens.
Meet Steven.
Steven is one of the smallest and sickest kittens who has been in my care in a while. He has had more reasons than most to be afraid of people. He has experienced abuse, and yet somehow, despite everything he has been through, he still had a little bit of trust left to give.
Being chosen by a cat is special in and of itself.
Being chosen by a cat who has been hurt by humans is a whole different level of honor.
The day Steven decided to crawl into my lap, I was tearful. There was something incredibly profound about sitting there with this tiny, fragile creature who had every reason to never trust a human again—and watching him choose me.
The room felt full of something difficult to put into words.
Love.
Trust.
Gratitude.
From him. From me. Between us.
And it reminded me that self-care doesn’t always have to mean stepping away from the world. Sometimes it means finding something that connects you more deeply to it.
Caring for something outside of ourselves can shift our perspective. It can give us purpose on a difficult day or get us out of our own heads and into the present moment. It can remind us that we have something meaningful to offer—even when we don’t necessarily feel our best.
For some people, that might be fostering an animal. For someone else, it might be volunteering, tending a garden, creating something, helping a neighbor, mentoring someone, spending time in nature, or simply being there for another person.
The point isn’t that you have to take on another responsibility to practice self-care. The point is that connection can be restorative. Sometimes we heal a little by being reminded that we matter to something—or someone—outside of ourselves.
And sometimes, the most unexpected little creatures remind us of that.
Steven didn’t know that I needed that moment as much as he did.
He simply crawled into my lap.
Maybe self-care isn’t always about asking, “What do I need?”
Sometimes it’s also asking:
“What can I connect with? What can I contribute to? What can I care for?”
You might be surprised by how much caring for something outside of yourself can give back to you.