I’ve been circling the drain on an article I read this past summer on nonnegotiables. It’s a term we use a lot in therapy in regards to new jobs, new relationships, redefining family relations and overall building a sense of identity. Identifying the big whammies like honoring a significant other, living with integrity, being a good parent or something like faith could all be examples of things we shouldn’t be compromising within our lives. Often times we get into relationships or jobs that don’t align with our list. This creates stress, anxiety, tension and overall dissatisfaction.
What stuck with me the most about this article is how it linked our every day decisions to our nonnegotiable list. It also discussed how often the pressure of the world encourages us to make one of our nonnegotiables, negotiable.
The worksheet that came with the article was pretty simple. Name your nonnegotiables-literally, that’s it. It came with a really nice caveat of giving yourself grace when other commitments have to take a back seat. This worksheet has been kicked all around my desk for months. It moved from next to my computer, over to the Kleenex box, then hopped over next to the phone, all the while remaining blank. What is it that has kept me from filling this out? I help clients identify these types of lists all the time, so why is it a struggle for me?
This said, it did give some much-needed perspective on the difficulty of not only identifying this list, but living in it consistently. It not only provided grace for myself, but for all the clients I have or will work with. Who knew that a tiny article written by Chip Gaines could inspire so much growth-thanks Chip.
Create your list. Live in your list. Have grace with yourself.