Did you know there are 13.5 million self help books out there on relationships? Because humans are social species, being around other people generally makes us feel better. A loving and long-lasting relationship is what people search for. So how do we keep it once we have it? How do we stay healthy within it? The biggest secret is this: Couples work on it together with intention. It’s not something that is phoned in or “just happens”. Here are some things to keep in mind as you work to building a steadfast and fun relationship.
Laugh. Laugh a lot and laugh deeply. Humor can be seen as an attractive trait and when we laugh together we are being venerable and playful. You know the good ole saying of “laugh to keep from crying”, well there is some truth in that. Laughter can help everyone get through rough times. For instance, when you can laugh at yourself it can set you up for success in letting things go and being more accepting of your mistakes.
Letting it go. Yep, all (even you, mom and dad) couples argue, fight and disagree. It is an important tool to know when to let it go. Don’t sweat the small stuff and understand that nothing good will come of a knock out fight. Therefore, it is going to be important to hit the pause button and make an active choice to circle back on bigger items that need further discussion. Giving up a fight is just as powerful as remaining in one.
Gratefulness. I work consistently with couples on adding gratefulness back into their daily routine. Couples in a loving long-term relationship positively affirm each other on a consistent basis. There is no room for “well they should just know”. People aren’t mind readers and healthy couples have accepted there is an active daily role in letting the other person know they are seen.
Braving. This is my favorite piece to work with couples on. Brene Brown developed this model for building trust within a relationship. Check out how it breaks down.
B-Boundaries
R-Reliability
A-Accountability
V-Vault
I-Integrity
N-Nonjudgement
G-Generosity
Give us a call to set up couples therapy if you want to work through or learn more on the Braving Process.
Practice makes healthy habits. Show up for your partner in crime. Healthy relationships are work.