We are told we need to have a legitimate reason to feel depressed. But sometimes we don’t have a reason. Sometimes humans can just wake up sad for no good reason. This is when things get tricky. Not having a reason (we also call it a trigger in the therapy world) can be confusing, disappointing and frustrating.
We try to force ourselves to not be sad, only to be more sad and now ashamed and angry. Then the self-hatred sets in and negative self-talk sets starts to swirl. This in turn tends to create more sadness, shame and anger. We try to be productive, only to fail at normal day to day items like hygiene and laundry. The self-hatred flares again and at this point we now bully ourselves for not being productive.
And then the nothingness of depression. Zero feelings. Zip, zilch, nada. Clients have described this as the “black hole of nothingness”. While you may gain some relief in finally shutting up the negative self-talk it is quickly overtaken by feeling numb.
Depression can be hard to understand and is often times misunderstood. It can also be hard to have compassion for as we also tend to fall into the category of wanting to understand “why”. Please know this-don’t waste time on the “why”. If you or someone you know struggles with depression, please reach out to your family doctor or a mental health professional.
Ask for help. Offer help. Accept help.